Strongly identifying with our community and our identity is how we survive. It is how many of us find support, comfort, and acceptance. By connecting with other people that have shared experiences with us, we find a source of strength that helps us to grow.
Ruth E. Fassinger proposed a theory about identity development. She noted two processes of it. The first was individual sexual identity in relation to internal awareness and acceptance. This process involves four phases. The first phase is awareness, in which the individual sees themselves as different from others. The second is exploration. In this phase, one explores their attraction to people of the same gender. The third phase is deepening/commitment. It is in this phase that the individual internalizes the identity as a gay person. The final stage is internalization/synthesis. It is in this phase that one incorporates sexual identity into one’s whole identity.
The second process was group membership identity in relation to one’s role within the gay community. The first phase is the awareness that there are people with different sexual orientations. The second phase is where one explores their relationship to the gay community. The third phase is a commitment to the gay community. Fassinger noted that this meant accepting the negative consequences that could occur as a result of this commitment. Finally, the fourth phase is internalizing the minority group identity across contexts.
By connecting with and associating oneself with a community, life can feel like it has more purpose. Accepting your identity as a queer person can be difficult, but it’s a lot less daunting when you realize that you have an entire community of people that are ready to welcome and accept you – just as you are.